Hey! It’s afternoon here and I just finished browsing through all 46 drafts of posts which will never be published. They range from funny thoughts to deep thoughts – and mind you, they’re great ideas for a blog. So I think the question here is: “Why am I not publishing them?”
Most of the drafts are unfinished words. Some date as far back as 2016 (yeah this tiny space has been around for a year) and some were just made a few weeks ago when I thought it would make a good enough topic to post.
But then let’s get to the issue here: I barely publish anything.
Reason number one would be that I don’t have any confidence. There’s always a voice at the back of my head saying “once you put something out on the internet, it can never be taken back” and I hold those words dearly to my heart. I’m afraid to overshare, especially about my personal thoughts which is why I always publish things that are quite general like food trips and adventures.
So moving on to what led me to write and (hopefully) post this post.
I don’t want to be afraid anymore. For the longest time (yeah, double emphasis on the LONGEST) I’ve wanted to create my own blog and just put my words out there. I don’t care about the statistics. I just want to be able to have a personal space where I can practice my writing and my storytelling – to be able to share a narrative that is entirely my own… no holds barred, no reason to be embarrassed, no reason to be afraid. And for the longest time also, the only thing standing between me and my goals is actually myself. The fact that I’m afraid to do anything, that I’m actually subconsciously afraid to mess up my life is the thing that’s standing between me and my growth.
So yep. This post is based on an impulsive decision to write what’s going on in my mind right now plus the impulsive decision to click the word publish right here, right now, after typing the final letters of this post.
So I guess the solution here is to be more brave and impulsive. Not impulsive in the sense that I don’t think things through before posting but impulsive in a way that I won’t get conscious about which topics I will be discussing or which topics will be interesting to my readers. I would want this blog to be relatable, but at the same time a sharing of my personal experiences. I would want this blog to be stress-reliever (on my part) and not as a cause of stress.
So there you go. Expect those types of posts from me. I won’t be afraid anymore. Promise!